Personal Development – Life begins at the end of your comfort zone

ICS Personal Development Case Study: Holly Aspey
* Wales, United Kingdom * Voluntary Services Overseas (VSO) International Citizens Service (ICS) * Securing Livelihoods Programme – Cycle 4 * Stung Treng, Cambodia * Peace and Development (PYD) Partner NGO *

Tipping over to the wrong side of 25, during my ICS VSO volunteering placement, I considered myself to be already somewhat ‘personally developed’. Improving my public speaking or presentation skills wasn’t something I had signed up for after five years at university and hosting several large scale events at my current workplace. Before applying to volunteer overseas I recognised myself as a confident and self-assured young(ish) person that had the skills and passion to help others in less developed countries, but I had never even anticipated that this programme could develop me on a level that I wasn’t sure would ever be possible….
I have always been an incredibly, irrationally anxious person. At 19 years old I became too anxious to attend lectures at University for weeks on end and petrified of public transport. I would automatically burst into tears and involuntarily shake if somebody tried to take me on a bus – and as I didn’t drive at this point that was pretty much every day. I knew this fear was completely stupid and out of my control, leaving me feeling very frustrated and embarrassed, but it was starting to shape my life and I knew I needed to take control of it.
As the years have gone on, despite only last year having to get off a train three stops before my station to prevent myself from freaking out and embarrassing myself in front of my new boss, I’ve been able to cope with my anxieties much better by putting myself into situations that made me feel anxious – facing my fears. Applying for this overseas volunteering programme 7,000 miles away from home was the final hurdle.
I know a lot of friends and family doubted thought I’d ever actually get on the plane and fly to the other side of the world – especially knowing that there would be a nine hour bus ride awaiting me at the other end. My commitment to fundraising and desire to volunteer abroad helped to keep my mind focused and gave me an incentive to not back down. I’ll admit, there were a few tears and a slight twinge of embarrassment before I stepped foot on that bus from Phnom Penh to Stung Treng (as the oldest volunteer I shouldn’t be crying over going on a bus – nobody should be crying about a bus journey full stop), but I made it to Stung Treng with a huge smile on my face and no tears in sight.
I honestly never thought I would have it in me to embark on a journey like this; travelling to the other side of the world and spend hours in Tuk Tuks and mini buses to visit different parts of the country. I feel that I can finally control my anxieties and I should never let anything hold me back from doing something I feel passionately about. This experience has actually changed my life. Spending five hours squished into the back of a mini bus travelling to Siem Reap, like a sardine in a tin can, thinking to myself ‘look at me now, mum!’
I’m excited to return home with a new outlook on life and not let anything hold me back. I doubt many other ICS VSO Volunteers will feel this ‘personally developed’ over sitting on a bus for nine hours, but for me this is the most significant personal transformation and without this experience I would still be sat at home wondering what could have been. Being an ICS VSO volunteer has brought out my determination and motivation to succeed in life and be the best person I can possibly be. You cannot let your fear of anything hold you back – Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

Ten things I have learnt so far as an ICS VSO Volunteer in Cambodia

We’re now over a month into our three month placement in Stung Treng, Cambodia. Problems have been faced, conflicts have been resolved and emotions are running high. Here are ten things that I have learnt so far as an ICS VSO Volunteer in Cambodia:

1. How to wash my own clothes by hand
Something I definitely take for granted back home is being able to grab a load of dirty clothes and shove them in the washing machine or load them into my mother’s arms. Washing a week’s worth of clothing in Stung Treng is a morning’s work and somehow you still never manage to feel truly clean or stain free.
2. Never wear white in Cambodia
I’ve learnt this the hard way. Luckily, most of my clothing is only from charity shops or Primark (if I’m feeling like splashing out) so I don’t mind too much if I end up with a once white, now orange blouse. But if you’re packing for your volunteer placement in Cambodia I would highly recommend avoiding white clothing. The orange dust roads really seep into anything light that you wear and there’s nothing you can do about it.
3. Patience is a virtue
Patience is something that I fortunately have a lot of but it has already been tried and tested on a daily basis here in Cambodia. Never underestimate the difficulty of working cross-culturally with people who speak a different language and live in a different world to you. It’s a completely different pace of life than back home in the UK that you need to learn to adapt too relatively quickly. Tasks that would normally take you ten minutes at work back home may take up your whole day here.
4. Age is just a number
I was so concerned about working with people 8 years younger than myself before starting the placement but I’ve come to realise that age really doesn’t matter out here. Whether you’ve been in uni for five years and have a career or whether you’ve just finished your A-levels and taking a gap year; we’re all in the same boat facing the same difficulties. You don’t need specific skills or experience to become a VSO ICS Volunteer, just the passion to make a difference.
5. You can’t ‘Make a difference’ over night
Don’t expect to volunteer for three months and eradicate poverty in Cambodia. Fighting poverty and improving livelihoods are massive international development objectives that are ongoing processes – just be happy to be a part of it.
6. You are stronger than you think
I’m thousands and thousands of miles away from my friends and family living in a house with tarantulas, lizards and a family that barely speak my language – but I’m coping, so far.
7. You can’t please everyone all the time – and that’s OK.
When you’re working in a team of 20+ people from different countries, cultures, ages, education etc. you’re never going to be able to please everyone all of the time and that’s OK. Problem solving and conflict resolution are amazing skills to practice utilising on a daily basis.
8. Money can’t buy you happiness.
Despite being a poor country, I’ve never met such happier people than in Cambodia. Money really can’t buy you happiness you just need to appreciate what you’ve got.
9. A jar of Nutella can last a month
I’m astonished that a jar of Nutella can actually last a month – rather than a night.
10. My life revolves around the internet
One day Stung Treng had no wireless connection – I felt disconnected from the world. I couldn’t do any work as it involved internet research and I couldn’t message any friends or family back home. I felt so alone. It’s scary how much my life revolves around the internet and how futile the connection here is – I’d advise anyone that’s about to embark on a volunteering placement in Cambodia to unlock your smart phones and buy data bundles in case you encounter a wifi-less day of doom.

A Saturday night in Stung Treng

When my surrogate mother invited me to a party in Stung Treng on a Saturday night I had my reservations. It’s unusual to see any lights on in any houses after 9pm let alone a disco ball. Typically, people who live in Stung Treng wake up early when the sun rises and head to bed when the sun sets. There is no night life. No drinking culture. Or so I thought…
I should note here that the family that I am living with are not your average Stung Treng family. My father, brother and sister are all teachers and my mother used to run the downstairs of the house as a restaurant. They have a beautiful brick-built home, unlike the majority which are wooden stilt houses, with all the essential commodities of a UK home albeit feeling like you’ve walked into the 90’s on entrance, but for Stung Treng I feel I am living in luxury.
Nervously, I agreed to attend the party and waited anxiously for Saturday to roll around. On the evening my mother appeared from her bedroom looking absolutely stunning with a made-up face and a lace detailed dress. I looked like a typical tourist with a long patterned dress and bum bag. My mum just laughed, shook her head and offered me a pretty floral dress to wear instead, which made me look more the part. As we all headed towards the infamous ‘party’ I tried to brace myself for whatever outcome could have arisen from such a bizarre prospect of a party in Stung Treng.
In the middle of one of the poorest provinces in Cambodia sprung a surreal blend of extravagant elegance. A house-warming party that I instantly mistook for a wedding due to the grandiosity. Hundreds of round tables covered in gold cloth and decorated with an array of traditional Cambodian dishes with free beer and soft drinks scattered around. All the women looked glamorous in stylish sequined dresses. Talented vocalists took the stage to entertain the audience during dinner with the aid of huge speakers and lighting systems.
People danced in front of the stage with a camera crew recording their moves. It had a holiday resort feel to it, but despite the obvious beauty there was still traces of the everyday problems and lack of education and development that I see in Stung Treng.

People throwing litter onto the floor and under the tables as though it’s a normal way to discard rubbish. Young children in dirty torn clothing worked as part of the waiting team and clearing away dishes. You can paint Stung Treng in all the gold you like but the major problems will always seep through.

I spent the evening with aching cheekbones as the only way for me to communicate was through facial expressions and hand gestures. I loved the sense of community spirit that ran through the entire night. Back home in the UK, if we suggested to the neighbours that we were going to have a huge party in the street with a lighting show and massive speakers I’m sure most would be hesitant to agree and the police would be phoned for ‘breaching the peace’ after 9pm.

Stung Treng, although poor and underdeveloped, is one of the friendliest and community orientated places I have ever had the privilege of living in. I’m happy to call this strange new place my home for the next three months and I hope to be able to contribute my time and skills to make a difference to the problems here.
Our ICS VSO team are considering conducting a Community Action Day (CAD) on raising awareness about litter and trying to influence the authorities in Stung Treng to provide more bins and means of rubbish disposal. It seems to be an overarching problem throughout Cambodia that can only be solved from the top. No amount of litter picking days will stop people littering. We need to educate and raise awareness. I will keep you updated – thanks for following my journey 🙂

Facing all my fears

The plane tickets are booked. The £800 has been raised. Copious amounts of shampoo and sun cream have been purchased. And it’s finally starting to feel real…
Two weeks today I fly half way around the world to work and live in Cambodia for three months; contributing to the fight against poverty and securing livelihoods in Stung Treng Province. I’ve never felt so proud of myself for applying to take part in such a challenging programme that will force me to face all my fears. I’m confident that I have the skills and experience to make a real difference to the communities in Stung Treng but on a personal level every fibre of my being is terrified.
I’ve only ever been on holidays around Europe and spent ten days in America on a school trip. I’ve lived in small villages in Wales all my life with no real understanding of other cultures. Travelling across the world to a developing country that is nothing like our own is beyond daunting. Knowing that I won’t be able to pop out to McDonalds or order a dominos for three months is absolutely horrifying but I know the experience will make me a better and more cultured person.
As the oldest volunteer in our group, nearing 26, I feel I should put on a brave face and finally challenge my anxiety and fear of the unknown. Being scared of needles and sitting through three courses of vaccinations has given me faith that I can overcome the next hurdle that lies in my path.
I’m absolutely thrilled to be undertaking this opportunity of a lifetime even if it does make my stomach flip just thinking about it. I’ve discovered that one of the organisations that we’ll be working with in Stung Treng, The Women’s Development Centre,, runs a project very similar to the Social Enterprise that I run in Wales. Stung Treng Women’s Development Centre is a Cambodian based humanitarian NGO focusing on developing life skills that assist in breaking the cycle of poverty and illiteracy for vulnerable people, especially women, in Stung Treng Province. Their projects are developed to empower and support, whilst providing knowledge and skills that have a long term benefit.
I’m so excited to visit this project and hopefully contribute my own ideas and skills to benefit the community. The more I read about the work of the organisations that we’ll be working alongside the more my anxiety fades to excitement. I’m itching to get out there!

 

NGOs and many other acronyms

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The volunteer project that I’ll be undertaking in Stung Treng is part of VSO’s secure livelihoods programme in Cambodia. It ensures people have the ability to become employed and where necessary will strive to provide them with alternative livelihoods in a range of different ways working with three different partner NGOs (Non-governmental organisations). Three partner organisations work with the VSO ICS programme in Stung Treng:
1. Paz y Desarollo (PyD)
2. Cambodia Rural Development Team (CRDT)
3. My Village (MVi)
Each organisation focuses on a different area. PyD focuses on women’s employment opportunities and overall equality working with local Community Based Organisations and the Women’s Development Centre to achieve this in the town and local villages. CRDT focuses on nutrition and alternative farming techniques, mainly working with local villages. MVi focus on the rights of indigenous peoples also working with local villages and in the main town area.
I will be working with one of these organisations for the duration of my time in Stung Treng; working within the focus of their organisational aims but also to achieve targets that fit within the secure livelihoods programme set by the ICS programme. Working toward targets such as; improving access to alternative employment and income opportunities for both women and youth, increasing the understanding of the local people surrounding topics such as nutrition and stabilisation of food security and enhancing local communities’ understanding of why the inclusion of youth women and indigenous peoples in work environments is important.

As I currently run a Social Enterprise for a domestic abuse charity that empowers women with skills and confidence; improving their employability and breaking the cycle of domestic abuse as a social problem – I’m personally excited about utilising my skills and experience working with PyD.
PyD Cambodia’s programme in gender:
“Improving opportunities for women in the economic field and promotion of women’s role in social and political spheres.’
PyD’s intervention aims at holistically improving the living conditions of women in the Northeast provinces of Cambodia, facilitating their access to social and political spheres, increasing their purchasing power, promoting the defence of Women’s Rights and gender equality and strengthening medical care in sexual and reproductive health.

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‘The Big Sunday Lunch’ Fundraiser

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Sunday February 8th 2015 from 2.30pm I’ll be hosting ‘The Big Sunday Lunch’ where up to 60 family and friends can come together to enjoy a Sunday Dinner, Dessert and tea / coffee for £9.95 and the generous restaurant in Porthcawl have agreed to donate a substantial percentage of the price to VSO whilst also providing a free venue!

There will be a Raffle for £1 a strip where you can win a range of prizes such as: boxes of chocolates, bath gift sets and bottles of wine.

I’ll be presenting a slide show of photo’s from Stung Treng, Cambodia to give my friends and family an insight into Cambodia culture and where I’ll be spending three months of my life!

Thank you for your support!

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